You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
