It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
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