So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
