My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
