then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
