I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
