you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
