why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
