Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Bring me that man meat
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I need to align my fucking chakras
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