i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
