When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
