i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
