Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
