he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
