His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
