just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I love you. Go after that dick
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
