you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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