i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
