You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
and she was petting her beer can
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
