Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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