Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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