Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
just found out that she named her cat after me.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
