I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
