No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
