I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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