This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
