just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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