Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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