he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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