one might say we're banned from that church
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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