A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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