i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Dicks are not precious.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
