so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
