Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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