so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
