glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
