I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Still dying that you shit outside
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
