I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
