kristin has been a bad kristin
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I'm always down for nudity.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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