You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
