and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
There r osticjed everywhere
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I need to calm my uterus...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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