Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
