It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
