I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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