the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
