i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
