Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
