i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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