yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
