i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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